If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
