Porn is love you can see.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
