two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
