if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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