so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I pour the whiskey from now on
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
