So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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