Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
