It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
