4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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