therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
