That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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