there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
