Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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