I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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