Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
