Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
