Do you still have your period?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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