Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
