There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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