he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
