dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
