Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i drank out of a bidet.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
