i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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