i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
