wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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