i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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