You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
