No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
