those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
