you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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