think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
