So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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