dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
