i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
