I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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