we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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