It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
