I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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