Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
