Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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