as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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