it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
