I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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