the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
