Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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