At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I deserve this hangover.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
