ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
