just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
