Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
