i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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