What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
third nipple confirmed
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
