So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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