Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
